Cats, dogs and a sex game theory!

I don’t want to be a Freud and end up connecting having sex as the prime drive for any happening in the world, but my wife and I came up with a hypothesis which held consistent when we analyzed the findings with our own friends! It is a known phenomenon to associate personalities to cats and dogs, but we have taken it a step ahead in including the victims of the cats and other categories too. I would want to name this theory as the Sex game theory. I wish I had known this theory in my puberty; either my sexual conversion rate would have shot up the roof or even if not, it would have at least saved me many frustrations from relationships or even have made me a millionaire on the money that I could have saved from the gifts in vain.

We put forth four categories of active sexual personalities: cat personalities, dog personalities, sucker to cats and the hunters. There are two more categories to cover the non-participating spectrum which are the creep and the inactive. Everyone will have a mix of these traits in reality and some of them will have one trait as the lead and the others in the background.

These categories apply to all sexes and it covers the kind of interplay between sexes of mutual attraction. Why does your boyfriend not able to settle down and call you a girlfriend? Why do people tend to have affairs? Something more subtle: she does not seem to have a closure with her former boyfriends and says that there is nothing more than friendship? There are some couples who tend to be unfaltering and seem to have happy and healthy partnership for a long time. How do they manage it? I know a friend (you know that it’s me!) who tries too hard to get the girl, even though the girl doesn’t seem interested! Yet he ends up buying one gift after another, but only to end in vain. When I see him, I felt bad for him and at the same time furious over the woman for not accepting such a nice guy. But now, knowing these personality types, I’m neither feeling sad for him for not getting her nor furious over her for not accepting him. I’m rather sad for him that he is building up so much frustration for one uninterested girl and just running up against a wall. Knowing the personality types certainly brought me an “Aha” moment in understanding these questions and I’m at much peace with my ex-girlfriends (where the gifts worked), especially the ones who bring my blood to boil just when I hear their name.

Categories 1 & 2: The cats and sucker to cats

They are the divas who don’t settle down so easily. Simply think of them as an actual cat. How much loyalty can you expect from cats? They seem to be only interested in you when they need cuddles or food. Let’s assume a man who is a cat. When a woman first greets him, he would make a tiny move in way of getting her attention. He might use something which he is strong at which can be his smile, his looks or humour, depending on if and to what the girl responds to. The moment the girl shows the attention to something, his first step is fulfilled. This is something that can be equated to a cat marking its territory when it first comes brushing against you or leaves its scent. The actual trap for the woman is when she would respond to him the second time. The cat man will just use her for something of benefit to him be it sex, money or even something as simple as helping to kill time. But he will not be available when she needs him. The more such instances occur, the more hurt she would feel. He would feel nothing, as he is constantly getting the attention from her whenever he needs from her. This will hurt her ego and she might resort two courses of actions. Either ditch him completely or simply vie for him to put “her” ego to rest. Despite having the option to say f*ck off to the cat, many simply continue to cuddle the cat, even if the cat does not seem to show appreciation for each move of hers. These women or men, the victims or suckers to cats, are the ones who end up being the so called nice guys. (I had this nice guy phase lasting for about two years)

We tend to see both types of women in our circle: the ones who give in and the ones who ditch and move on. As for him, he does not mind either of the responses, as he is a cat and he might well have more victims like her lined up like cuddle slaves. If one slave backs out, his nature will soon get the next one in service. He being in the center of attention or the star of the show is the one what his ego wants. Meanwhile the victims tend to have a relationship with the cat which seems to drag forever without a conclusion.

Cat behaviour can be with both sexes. Anyone can be a cat and not all the cats tend to be equally extreme like in the example above. It also depends on how the victims respond. He might think that he is handsome, but the world might have other thoughts and in the end he might not have any victims at all, simply because he is not getting the responses. In this case, over the time his cat trait might tend to slip out to the background and a dog trait could come to the forefront.  But if they tend to have this cat aspect as their leading trait and if they tend to know that one thing which makes the victims come to them, they can be very dangerous in making multiple victims.  Be it beauty or entertainment, if the cat tends to know why they are needed and acknowledge themselves that they are beautiful or perceived cool in their circle, there is no stopping them in enjoying carnage of broken hearts!

It is also normal that we see people having passing partners in their life, but they never seem to be able to settle down one. They are most likely to be cats. If they just motivate getting milk from random people, on the long term, they are likely to die alone. This is the movie plot of Matthew McConaughey’s “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”

Category 3: Dogs

Dogs are loyal. They are stable, friendly and approachable. The men/women of this category tend to be very much reliable and they think on long term. Despite their stable outlook, sexual approach may not be their strong point. One part of them might tend towards a direct approach to showing sexual interest or partnership, which makes life simple, but not as fancy as how a cat person might project it. If they tend to be shy and not able to talk direct, they sadly end up as sucker to cats or simply go inactive. Direct or Inactive, they in general they might not be the most sensitive if a sexual advance is made towards them. They struggle to pick cues. A friend of mine once had a “missed, close call” that an attractive girl living on the same floor as his in the hostel always would wear a bright red lipstick whenever she would go to visit him, but he never picked up the cue and came to know about it only years later after she confessed it. She once even asked him to zip her skirt up!

They might not be as seducing as a cat, but you will be spared of much drama and you can have a peace of mind with them. When you wonder how two people have managed together for so long, it’s likely that at least one of them has a strong dog personality and is of very much accepting nature. The dogs would not need a variety and their ego takes solace from having stability and having someone loyal around. Even if they have deviating wishes, they might not insist on them as they tend to understand the risk of losing a strong partner. When the drive to the other sex tends to be constant, a dog might even develop a focus on other things in life making them successful not just in relationships, but also financially or with hobbies. Thereby dogs tend to have a contented life. I’m having my own dog time too, after having met my now wife. Once our relationship got stable, I stopped picking up cues and she once appreciated me with a kiss when I did not notice a random woman making a pass at me and I responded dud. (Sometimes I got gifts too!).

Category 4: Hunters

This is a rare category of Barney Stinsons or the Casanovas. They do exist. Have you wondered about a friend of yours who tend to hang out with a new girlfriend every other week? There are no dramas or beards in his break up. He simply moves on for his next prey and he gets one in no time. There may be two kinds of hunters, the one who seem to have no shame. Many women would identify them at the first glance and be with them just for a temporary pleasure. The ones who end up in a relationship sooner or later rush out of it in a hurry. The second of the hunter are the real pros where their break-ups seem smooth and even the women tend to be happy with those guys even if it was obviously temporary from the beginning. They are extremely sensitive and they know which button to push on to extract what they want from their opposite sex. On that part, the latter are the true hunters and the former are the desperate hunters. What makes them a hunter is their success in conversion rate into intimate relationships. A cat can also seek for multiple partners but they neither end in a meaningful relationship nor simply end! Meanwhile, I belong to his peaceful meadow of people who are neither hunters and nor the hunted!

Rewarding mechanism & non-participating categories:

That’s that about the categories which tries to figure out types of people when it comes to handling opposite sex. This theory applies only to opposite sexes or if I should be fair, it applies to sexes of the mutually attractive nature. Else there will be no reward mechanism for the games to happen at the first place. May be this could happen at workplaces where the boss subordinate relationship tend to happen over a reward called salary increase, bonus or promotion, but this relationship will not have that revisiting tendency as in a cat coming back to tease again. Ideally a boss will just want to get the work done. He or she wouldn’t be interested in the game play as it will steal the productivity. But reality is hormone driven and it’s common for us to see such exchanges happening at work even if it’s at a cost of productivity.

For the same reason of the rewarding logic discussed above, we would exclude two groups of people from this exchange: the creeps and the inactive. Both groups are socially inept in their own way, which hinders any kind of healthy exchange to happen. The creeps with their body language, eye movements or choice of vocabulary tend having their anxiousness over or under expressed that they end up giving all wrong signals involuntarily to such an extent that it may even look threatening to the basic safety needed in a partner play. And the Inactive are people who don’t freak out others, but they are socially not participating, or remain invisible, or tending to surround themselves not with the attractive sex.

Summary:

Everyone is in some degree a mix of everything and a majority of them will have one leading trait. They can choose to consciously control and have the role they want. All such games tend to reach a short time goal, which is just feeding their ego, but for a healthy partnership on a long run, people should motivate their dog side. The whole point is about knowing which category you belong to and being conscious about it. I was sucker to cat for some years and moved on consciously to a dog personality. This is something that can be changed with lots of effort and all it needs at the first place is that you don’t lie to yourselves and choose your fair role – be it a cat, dog, sucker, hunter, creep or inactive. Once you achieve that you will be able to shuffle it the way you want. Cat people can finally find their stable partners. The victims to cats can be saved from an enormous amount of stress! The dogs can learn to sharpen their senses. Hunters like cats might be good with sexual affairs, but they even need to develop a dog side to gain some stability. Finally creeps and Inactive, if it somehow helps them to throw away their expired condom in the wallet and/or find a partner, I will be happy.

I can expand more on this topic with voluntary case studies and refine it to details when the chance or demand exists, but for now I leave it to you to explore your personalities and be successful with your relationships! I would like to you hear your stories too. Share it to my inbox or comments section.

P.S. Even in this writing I noticed that it’s a cat which gets more attention! Drama sells!

———Fin———-

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Iceland blog – Traveller tips

Best timing: Summer, spring or autumn. I travelled in 2019 between October 5 and October 13. October had it’s advantages. To experience Iceland would be to experience its drastic weather conditions too. We saw an upwards flowing waterfall as the gust got up to 80 km/h! You might be able to experience this likely in autumn or spring. Moreover this is an off-season which got us many deals cheaper too! Summer in any case would be the best, but watch out for your wallet! Unless you are an experienced local, I would not recommend a winter travel, especially a road trip!

Tips:

Given the myth around Iceland and its dangerous weather conditions, we had prepared our best from websites and other blogs. Some tips were very useful and some we had learnt only after being there. Here is a list.

1.Transportation and routes

  • Outside Rejkyavik there was hardly any public transportation. Given the geography of Iceland, the best way to see it is to be mobile. Renting a car makes absolute sense. Whether you want a mobile home, mini camper van or simply rent a car and stay at hotels/ guest houses or hostels on-the-go is up to you
  • The ring road: What I heard or saw with many of the visitors were that they chose the whole ring road trip. Ring road might sound enticing, but you will likely end up watching the spots only along the road and not on the interiors. Also it might be a strenuous driving. The route has a length of 1400 km. With 90km/h speed restriction, you would need 15 hours to cover the stretch. In reality it might take a lot more than 15 hours mainly due to weather and it’s not 90km/h throughout. Also the landscape might be so overwhelming that you will be stopping every few km to take a picture. When we drove from Klausturhof to the Vatnajökull Glacier, it’s hardly 50km or less than an hour on paper, but all the pitstops we made extended the trip to more than 3 hours!!
  • The official website of Iceland’s road department had divided Iceland in 9 parts. We did not do the round trip, rather we chose to stay at the two southern blocks. To cover the major highlights in each block, I can say now that you would need four days per block. This plan worked out wonderfully for us. It wasn’t strenuous and we were able to have a relaxed vacation. We stayed three days each in Hella and Klausturhof (The actual town’s name is Kirkjuvuwbvkjnvkjn … blabla, we chose to address the town by the name of the guesthouse) and two days in Reykjavik

Blocks

Route

2. Don’t underestimate the weather.

Take the road conditions and information offered by the Iceland road department serious. If you got this one covered, your rest of the trip will be peaceful.

  • Now after having experienced them, I can say that now I understand what means wind and gust!
  • Avoid night driving: Fog was so often and so intense that we hardly had a visibility of 20m and it usually occurred unpredictable

3. Renting a car: While renting a car, make sure that the car is prepared for the weather too

Cactus

  • I would recommend a car with a higher ground clearance and a hard plastic protection on the bottom like in the picture. Unless you want to take the F Roads, a simple mini SUV or a normal car with higher ground clearance should suffice. We took Citroen Cactus. It held really well for the 9 days we went in October
    • Use the chip, if they give you one at the rental. Usually you get a discount on gas prices if you chip in.
    • I have no caravan or camper van experience, so I cannot say anything on this. Only thing you have to watch out is the wind and gust factor. Caravans would not be suitable for non-summer weather
    • We had brought our own Navi. It was really useful as internet was not available at all places.
    • Music CDs or USB stick. For some reason, our car had neither of these options and we ended up listening to Icelandic radio for our whole trip. The radio was way better than most German radio senders.
  • Renting period
    • Some say that renting in the city might work out cheaper than the airport, but the rentals at airport were not that costly, at least compared to German prices.
    • To go to the city without a car, the only option you have is the flybus shuttle which costs 33€ a person! Both ways would cost you 66€ a person and when you travel in a group, the sum becomes huge! Even if it is a costly in the airport, renting at the airport works out cheaper overall mainly due to this reason. Return your car a few hours before your flight!
  • Insurances
    • Outside the regular collision damage and theft insurances, my experience showed that windscreen, undercarriage and gravel insurances are a must. I had opted for a Grand Package in the list below. It came with a self-liability of 50,000 ISK or ~400€
    • Sand/ash, Wheel, water damages, unless you are sure of your tracks, I wouldn’t recommend it

Protection Iceland Car Rental 4x4 Car Rental Thrifty Car Rental - Google Chrome

4. Clothing

5. Food

  • We had taken a small French press and water heater with us. This came in very handy and saved lots of money for us.
  • Although we brought other food items with us, we also managed to find cheap supermarkets. Netto, Bonus stores and Kronan stores were really affordable. There was a netto about 3km from the airport. The prices were very much comparable to German prices.
  • We had brought gin bottles and then we found that that shopping at Keflavik Airport is both Tax and duty free and items were super cheap. Load up your alcohol there for the rest of your trip
  • Outside food: A basic meal in Iceland costs 1800 ISK or ~13€ on an average.
  • Some guesthouses also had breakfast included in their price. This will save a lot of money for you.
  • Watch out for the Gas station cuisine. Due to the drastic weather changes, it’s normal that many cars stop by the nearest Gas station until the conditions become better. Due to this, the bunks were often fully equipped. The lamb stews and goulash at the bunks were awesome. Some bunks even had a subway like concept. The sandwiches and hotdogs were decent.

6. Accommodation

  • We travelled in October and it was off-season. We managed to find the guest houses at half the price. One double bed room had cost on an average 80€
  • For camper van travellers, we heard that the local swimming pools offer free showers. Cannot confirm though.

7. Other tips

  • Plug points were similar that of Germany. We did not need an adapter
  • Keflavik airport was one huge chaos. The airport has about 12 million passengers and upwards passing by yearly and the airport was so messed up with long queues. It felt that it could only handle one tenth of the crowd. Go at least 3 hours prior to your departure to not end up missing your flight
  • The budget airline “wow” declared bankrupt and ceased operations recently. The country’s official airline Icelandair was decent. The tickets were costly, but the aspect that you could take 23 kilos with you is an advantage and we loaded up on food and drinks supplies. This trick saved us a lot of money.
  • International roaming did not work at many places inland. Some shops even offer prepaid phones for renting. We did not use it, but it might be useful.
  • For the impeccable out of the planet landscape that Iceland has, pictures hardly justified reality. I took small 360° 10 sec videos. Have a phone with good video function.

8. Guided tours

  • There are many websites offering guided hiking tours and many were expensive. Surprisingly there are many hiking paths free of cost and easily accessible almost at all the major sights. I would recommend you to check this before you book a paid tour. Also many sights like the wrecked plane or the Reynisfara beach are easily accessible by yourselves with a car. You wouldn’t need a conducted tour.
  • Please avoid Glacier hikes at any cost. It is not worth it for the risk. There are free hiking paths which lead you so close to the glacier or for amazing top down views. Walking over the glacier even with a guide does not eliminate the risk completely. If you fall, there is hardly any way to save you. Secondly it is as simple that some nature on earth is better to be left untouched. We saw a humongous amount of glacier melt and flow as a river. Having a billion curious people walk over it will simply accelarate it’s already melting piety.
  • Reykjavik city itself is small. Two days are more than enough. There is one shopping street – Laugavegur – which sells anything to a gullible wallet.
  • I did Silfra snorkelling between the tectonic plates at Thingvellier National park. Highly recommended and it had cost 160€ with “dive.is” operator
  • Northern lights: We were not lucky this time. There is an official website where you can check the chances to see one : https://en.vedur.is/weather/forecasts/aurora/. Do not pay lots of money for such northern lights hunting tour. Even the tour operators cannot predict it. Unless you are in winter and you cannot drive around, may be these operators could make sense.

9. List of attractions in these two southern quarters

  • Gulfoss, Geysir, Vatnajökull glacier hike, Svartifoss, Rejkyadalur Spring (Free “natural” alternative to costly “Man-made” Blue Lagoon!), Kerid Crater lake, Hekla Volcano, Thingvellir national park, Klaustorhof hike, Reynisfara beach and many no-named sights.
  • All these locations/ hikes are free of cost and you might have to calculate a standard parking fee of 750ISK at some of these places.

10. Recommendations

  • Thrifty rental at the airport. Their service was straightforward and simple. It was price worthy.
  • Klausturhof Guesthouse at kirkjubæjarklaustur. Decent service and comfortable beds.
  • Kaffivagninn – Rejkyavik. Their Lamb steak was literally melting in my mouth.
  • Otis Gas station sandwiches or hotdogs
  • N1 Gas station Lamb stew and Lamb Goulash
  • Icewear at Vik. Their woollen products were half as cheap as in the capital
  • Reykjavik Handknitting association of Iceland: If you want to buy in the capital, watch out for China goods. There was one wool store put from the local handcraftsmen association. Their shop looked authentic.
  • Bókabúð Forlagsins Bookstore. This is a wholesale book store near the old harbour of Reykjavik. Books were easily 30% cheaper than in the city and given the city itself is so small, you can reach this place from the central shopping street Laugavegur by foot in 15min.

11. Finances

  • The trip had cost for us – 2 people, without the clothing, 1261€ or 140€ per day for 9 days. The split was 38% Transport, 28% Hotel, 19% Activities & 15% Food and Drinks.
  • Iceland would finanically make better sense if you can share with a friend, than a lonely travel
  • Card was accepted everywhere! You wouldn’t need physical cash at all!

Final Reminder

The humongous tourist influx is leaving its dirty traces. Please don’t litter and respect nature!

If the weather was bad, it means that either you are dressed bad or you chose a bad timing. Just be cautious on this and equip well, the rest will be magical!

WhatsApp Image 2019-10-10 at 6.46.16 PM

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Poetry {Ode to the Alps}

“T2!” He said

“And a lesser stretch of T3”, he said

Of the highest hiking difficulty level of T6

For reference, T4 and upwards meant

You are at your own risk!

T2 climbs till Bogartenlücke*

T3 leads from there to Marwees

We had a basic hiking shoe

So began the climb from Wasserauen at 870m

Forty minutes till the beginning of T2

Now standing at its base

Looking at what loomed in front of us, I asked him

“Are you sure this is what you wanted to climb?”

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That pointy rock in the middle at the top of this picture is Bogartenlücke at 1700m*

He said “Let’s go!”

“Ok! One step at a time!”

Halfway through he said ‘’May be I should have read a bit more about T2’’

Feet were sore

Sweat was pouring

Yet, the higher we went,

The altitudes higher up seemed to whisper a promise

“Come closer, there is something worthy”

Step after step

Even if small steps

Let’s not go down

Let’s maintain a pace

All motivation, just until two steps later

“I said, panting, you know?”

“You should be thankful to have me as your friend”

“I would have been drinking beer at home”

“Petting my tummy”

“And binge watching Netflix”

“Yet here I am!”

“Dying with you for blindly accepting your invitation!”

He smiled

And panted!

Step after step

Just looking at the next step

Grabbing the rocks, holding to the grass

Bells clanged!

“Wait! How did the cows get up here?!”

“Hello! Blondie Moo!”

Step after step

May be we should turn around and look below

What the mother f*cking Nature!

The promises started to appear!

Let’s sit for a moment and take in the sight!

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Step after step

Bogartenlücke* was just there

In sight!

Just a few more

“Hurrah!” Set foot in the pass

Just about three meters in width

A look to the back was a vast landscape

Standing on Earth High up!

A look to the front was a plunge down

To the holy see depths of the Alps!

Truly arrested by Nature!

20190831_142827_HDR

But then we had another small stretch of T3 remaining

A fellow hiker lady said hello

“Which route are you guys taking?”

“T2 to this gap and then T3 to Marwees”

She lifted her chin in doubt

“What you guys did so far was T3”

“That path over there is Marwees”

Jaw drop

20190831_134428_HDR

Do you notice people climbing on this picture? Notice the vertical zigzag T4 paths

“Are you guys free of height giddiness?”

“Just watch out”

“It’s a T4!!”

I turned my face slow towards him

He was already in shock looking at the pathway up

So steep!

He said “I’m going home’

“Let’s conquer it some other time”

“Ok, but let’s go on a different route down”

The pathway down the plunge side!

He did not look happy

At least it’s a T3 still

Steps down the depths

He felt like “Man vs. Wild”

He balanced a foot to the rock, clinched a bunch of grass

And slowly moved his other foot down

Later he confessed

“I was mumbling la la la to prevent dying thoughts”

Then a 60 year old lady jogged past him

It was still a marked route, but with gravel

The lady slipped a couple of times

But balanced quick and whooshed past him

While he was sticking like a whining lizard to the rock

These fit first worlders, did give him some motivation!

In the valley down 40 minutes later

Pleasant wind

The whole outing was a nice escape

What is hiking?

It’s just another way to be with nature!

An Indian would understand

Bells clanging

Felt like in a temple!

At the same time, wondering

How did the cows get up here!

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I thank him for the invitation

Through this ode

Get ready, my friend

Next time!

It’s a T4!

“Lücke is a gap or a pass

Poetry ~ Ego Baiters

You offer a hand
But they saw you as a wooden log
Lit it up and sent flares in height

You got not no reciprocation
When your flare went down
They constantly set you alight

You were warm
And got used for their warmth
You sway constant and bright

You got not no reciprocation again
When your flare went down
They constantly set you alight

You entertained still
They just enjoyed the flame dance
With the log burnt in delight

Voila! You fell for the bait
That tiny compassionate act which gets you dancing again
Their ego pampered with your plight

You just stay away!
Far away from this non responsive lighter
Don’t end up doing blight!

You my friend!
You are just another log in their woodpile!
These are Ego baiters in hindsight!

Poetry #Life Hacks

Go to a hospital, live through the effort of the doctors to save a person’s life
You will know the value of living healthy

Be hungry for one day a week
You will at least mimimally understand the suffering of the underprivileged

Look from close on how others make money
You will find your own way which is better than theirs

Empathize with the person who needs you. Take that extra step to help them if you can
At the time you need someone, the least you will expect is an empathic listener

Try making one product end to end by yourselves. Like your t-shirt needs a farmer, harvester, weaver, dye-er, designer, packer and seller
You will learn to respect other person’s skills and will be more than willing to work along than envy or dominate

Be it anger, excitement or desperation, delay your impulsive decision or reaction by a day
You will know in most cases you wouldn’t have wanted to have reacted or decided the way you were triggered to be

A friend deserves a second chance
You will know that elseway there will be no friend left

Travel to four places – the most impoverished, most air polluted, a place with water crisis and a beautiful & resourceful place
You will want to reduce your footprint on the nature

Spend time with nature
You will realize that there is nothing healing as gentle wind brushing off your wound

Poetry @ the Baltic sea

Nothing like a vacation at a sea
Like a four step laundry program for the soul
Cleaning it inside out

Dip in the water
Step. 1. The wave foam soaks in the stress
Step. 2. The sea sand and stones scrub it off

Lie on the beach
Step. 3. The gentle breeze dries and cleanses
Step. 4. The blazing sun reinforces the soul

s(T)umble along the shore
Feel the new you
With no thoughts
Just hovering along as the sea gull flying beside you

Poetry #Farewell

For all my peers who are holding onto their seats

I know it’s hard to peel yourself out of the glue on it

But I always had a paper between my butt and seat

Thanks to that

Now I’m on the move with my wife

With everything packed in our gypsy car

Literally leaving so many good memories and everything familiar behind

We will come back sometime for the hangover

Now with every passing mile

The eyes feel a bit heavy

A lasting smile at the same time

Lost in thoughts over how good the past was

And nervous and curious of how the uncertainties in front of us will shape up

Now we are gypsies

A feel of relief

We managed to pull off a Change!

plainly looking at the white lines on where it will lead to

With a smile!